Joke but true

Husband: Honey I will buy a new mattress on my way home. The one we are using is no longer comfortable. 

Wife: That's my Love ! But wait o, where will you get the money  ?

Husband: I heard Arakunrin will pay our arrears today. 

Wife: I always know that man will perform. Please Darling, don't forget the wristwatch you promised me o. 

Husband: With all pleasure My Love. 

5 hours later, the man arrived home in his car. Pin... Pin... Pin he blared his horn. The woman ran out to meet her husband.

Wife: Honey welcome (collecting her husband's briefcase, leading him into their sitting room). 

Husband: You are always wonderful. 

Wife: Where is the mattress and my wristwatch ? 

Husband: Which mattress  ? Abeg gimme my food. I never see alert o, the thing na rumours o.

The woman broke down weeping profusely. 

Wife: Honey please forgive me......huuu huuu .

Husband: (loosing his patience) Dear what's all these now,  what happened  ?

Wife: Honey please forgive me oooooo..

Husband: (perceiving some odour, and looking out of the window). What's smelling like this, where is this smoke coming from ?

Wife: (still weeping) Huuu, I have burnt our mattress, I thought you would buy a new one truly, you know it is no longer good. 

Husband: (furious, with a changed countenance). What ! You did what ? You must be joking. "Ti mo ba gba e mu". You will go back to your father's house today if this is true. You burnt the 500,000 naira my contribution money I hid in the mattress for us to roof our house. 

Wife: Yepa ! You mean you have such huge amount in this house and you didn't tell me ? 

Husband: If I get you today, I will show you who I am. (With this, he ran to the backyard where the smoke was coming from. Seeing the ashes of the burnt mattress, he fainted. 

Lesson  1: Never hide anything from your wife, she's your better-half. 

Lesson 2: Never run faster than your husband, he's your head. 

Lesson 3: Don't rely on arrears to plan your home. 

Bless you....